Washing of Jesus' Feet: A Lesson in Forgiveness

Raymond Joseph Barrett, LAPC, M.Div

Have you felt that gut-twisting feeling of anger that comes from wanting revenge, or that liberating feeling when you know you have been forgiven? This Sunday’s gospel reading (Luke 7:36 – 8:3) on forgiveness powerfully describes the impacts that forgiveness and holding grudges can have on us. Simon Peter had not forgiven the woman who had sinned, and felt that she had no place with the Lord and deserved to be ostracized. Peter’s pride, “I would never deny you Lord” (Mat. 26:35), and need to distinguish the sinful from the pure made it necessary for Jesus to teach him the most important part of his ministry, forgiveness. Peter was instructed at the Pharisee’s home and then had the personal experience of forgiveness when Jesus appeared to him and asked, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” (John 21:16). The woman washing Jesus’ feet exemplifies the pure humility and love that is evoked by authentic forgiveness.

A few months ago I had the privilege to be on a retreat that was co-lead by Fr. Ubald Rugirangoga of Rwanda. We happened to be roommates for the retreat. Fr. Rugirangoga was a seminarian during the genocide of Rwanda. He was able to escape to a neighboring country, but 50 of his family members were murdered. While in seminary he had a conversion experience that was the beginning of his process of forgiveness. When he was back in his hometown in Rwanda he publicly embraced and forgave the one responsible for the murder of his family. He then supported this man’s wife and two children while the murderer was in jail. Fr. Rugirangoga explains that stating forgiveness is only part of the process, and that we must show our forgiveness for it to be complete. Fr. Rugirangoga has a healing ministry in Rwanda that has been changing the hearts and minds of those in his church, community and country.

Resentment and grudges have probably served an evolutionary purpose by keeping us alive because they are an energy source that propels us to protect and defend ourselves. They also provide control over society by enacting punishment and shame on those violating rules. This socially learned control reaches from the highest levels of government to the personal relationship between a parent and child. Have you ever been told “Bad boy”, “Bad girl” or “Shame on you”? Shame is one of the most powerful forms of control because it touches us at our core. Consequences are necessary for a healthy society, but judging the person (soul) versus the behavior is in complete opposition to the Creator’s unconditional love for each of us. When we continue to hold a grudge with someone or feel a sense of shame it is one of the most unsettling feelings that often makes us unable to enjoy life, function at work, or treat others with love. This is because, at our core, we know that we are good, but we are locked in a distorted view of others and ourselves.

How do we experience character-changing forgiveness? The answer lies in our personal relationship with Jesus. It is a process of experiencing healing from the lies of society and of discovering true humility.

Humility is the healing agent in all relationships. Not forgiving others or ourselves is based on the view that we or others are uniquely sinful and therefore do not deserve forgiveness, and that we are controlling reality by not forgiving. Only we can open up the door to our heart to the one that unveils to us the beautiful truth of ourselves and others. Jesus teaches us that sinful actions are harmful and have consequences, however, they are not simply the fault of one individual but often stem from a complex social web of responsibility. Jesus also demonstrates to us that we are unconditionally loved, forgiven and always invited to live the best life. When we open ourselves to the forgiveness of God we know that we are authentically known and that we belong.

Let us pray that we can be converted by God’s forgiveness and be a true Christian witness in our forgiveness of others.

Raymond Barrett, LAPC, M.Div.

Life’s Canvas, soul-focused counseling and life coaching

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