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Before we go any further, I would like you to take out a piece of paper and create your dream Mr./Mrs. Right. Go crazy and be as specific as you possibly can be. Think back on past dating experiences. What do you believe you cannot live without and what you do not want to live through ever again? You might even want to take a couple of days to complete the exercise and come back to it later. When you have finished your list, take out another piece of paper and prioritize the attributes, virtues, and characteristics you have just described. As you go down the list, with your most important quality being listed in the number one spot, you will come to a point of being able to say, “I would really like to have this trait in someone, but I could live without it.” That is where you draw the line. Everything going from that point toward number one, is now contained within your Box. Everything in The Box has become your blueprint and guide to gauge whether the one you are dating is worth moving forward with.
What is very, very, VERY important is that everything in your Box is something you possess yourself. For example, if you are looking for someone who is faith-filled, but not practicing your faith, you need to seek the Lord before seeking a mate. If you desire someone who is financially stable and you are a spend-thrift, you need to curb your spending first and educate yourself on fiscal responsibility. In other words, you need to get to work on becoming the person in your Box yourself first!
Important considerations for your Box
~ Relationship with the Lord
~ Attitude toward birth control/abortion
~ Sense of humor (again, there is no right or wrong, it is just important that you “get” each other as laughter carries a long way in healing and in difficult times)
~ Level of demonstrative affection
~ Views on parenting
~ Views on stay-at-home-Moms
~ The manner in which he or she handles finances
~ etc.
Things you would prefer to have in a mate but can live without are placed outside The Box
~ Playing certain sports
~ Love of travel
~ Musically talented
~ Hair color
~ Eye color
~ Height
~ Weight
~etc.
An example of a woman's list might look something like this . . .
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~Attends mass more than Sundays and Holy days
~prays daily
~demonstrates signs of introspection and is able to share his insights with me
~believes in natural family planning
~believes in mothers staying at home with their children
~cracks me up! ~ Can laugh at himself and helps me laugh at myself
~is not afraid to challenge me to grow and is interested in helping me become the person God created me to be
~thinks of me and shows it in the little things
~is appreciative of the little things I do to show him I have thought of him
~has his own group of friends and interests
~is generous toward friends and family with his time, talent and treasure
~understands that men and women are different and that an ongoing dialogue is going to be necessary throughout the life of the relationship
~is family oriented
~is open to counseling should there come a time it becomes necessary
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likes to dance
likes music
likes golf
likes the beach
likes to cook
at least 6' tall
olive complected
dark hair, preferably with a wave
dark eyes
great teeth
physically fit
likes to travel
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