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“Looking at pornography blinds us to the presence of God in human beings.”
 “Every time I look at you, I go blind.” These lyrics from the song by 'Hootie and the Blowfish' always make me think of pornography. Human beings hunger for attention and acceptance. We are social creatures with a genuine need for help from others to maintain a clear understanding that our life has meaning and purpose. Pope Benedict XVI explains in his encyclical “God is Love” how we are each called to gaze into the soul of other people, knowing “I can give them the look of love which they crave.”
Looking at pornography blinds us to the presence of God in human beings. It trains us to focus on their body parts, dehumanizing them. We soon become slaves to our sexual appetite. Our freedom to desire what is truly good for us gets more and more limited as our sinful choice first turns into a habit and then over time becomes a compulsive obsession out of our control.
We select people in the pornographic pictures for our personal slaves. We do not think of their hunger nor their wounds nor their need for our genuine love and concern.
We use them for personal pleasure and to escape the pain of our own loneliness and hunger for love. This slaveholder attitude creeps into our relationship skills. Soon our family and friends notice the change in us as we lose a sense of our own personal value and dignity.
We go blind to the goodness within us, believing we are bad and unlovable.
Brain research scientists testified at the U.S. Senate Commission on Pornography that pornography is potent, addictive and permanently implanted in the brain. They explained that looking at pornography for only three-tenths of a second causes the brain to change in a way that can be measured by technology. Scientists refer to these physical and chemical changes as 'damage to the brain'. They testified that there are no studies nor any data to prove that there is any benefit from using pornography.
One expert said, “If pornography made us healthy, we would be healthy by now.”
Instead, interest in online pornography causes more than half of all divorces according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. The harmful effect of divorce on our children is well documented.
The Internet offers adults and children the greatest access to pornography. Recently, a local Catholic high school senior surveyed 100 teenagers for an ethics essay contest. Most of them admitted to owning pornographic magazines and videos and all of them confessed to viewing porn websites.
I spent a few days at St. Louis University High School (Catholic Prep School) inviting the students to give up pornography for Lent. Some of them questioned whether sexual addiction is real. I told them that Lent is the perfect opportunity to prove that you have not lost self-control.
The season of Lent may be over but don't let that be an excuse. Give up any attachment for 6 weeks -- such as pornography, favorite foods, alcohol, drugs, gossip (framed as prayer requests), chat rooms, shopping, criticism, video gaming, violent movies, TV or using the Internet.
By the end of the 6 weeks, you will know if you have an addiction, because if you do, you will be full of resentment.
Pope John Paul II taught us that resentment is spiritual laziness -- “a sadness that the good is difficult.” Yes, it is difficult to be good people and to do good things. We cling to our hurts because it is such a bummer to go through the very hard work of making a commitment to change our behavior and letting go of our pride and ask God for His forgiveness and His mercy to help us to change. In his book, Love and Responsibility, Pope John Paul II wrote, “resentment outlaws chastity from the soul, the will and the heart.”
Resentment blocks us from pure and chaste friendship that can satisfy our heart’s desire for human connection.
Some may need the help of a Catholic therapist to be set free from the effects of pornography. Healing can begin to see ourselves in the forgiveness, mercy and love of God and to see those around us in the same way so we can have true human connection.
It is not easy, especially today, but chastity is humanly possible.
Monica H. Breaux PhD, MSW is in private practice as a counselor for Families, Marriage, and Individuals for various issues and also provides Telephone & Skype counseling. She is an influential author and speaker at national conferences, parishes and high schools. Her ministry, (HumanlyPossible.net), has evolved into a lay ecclesial movement for people who recognize the injustice of sexual immorality, and respond with a personal commitment to healthy and holy sexual attitudes and behavior as a spiritual work of mercy. She was honored by Catholic Social Workers National Association as “2010 Catholic Social Worker of the Year.”
To view her Profile, click: http://www.catholictherapists.com/BreauxPhD
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