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Theory and Reality
Written by Allison Ricciardi, L.M.H.C.   


allison nametitleOne of the courses that we take when studying psychology is psychological theory. Many psychologists have formed their own ideas about personality development and how the human psyche works. Some make sense and others are, quite frankly, pretty out there. I remember one theorist who believed that children are born evil, and hate, and want to kill their parents. As most students stroked their chins and nodded their heads, I raised my hand and asked the professor what had happened to her. It appeared obvious to me that her theory was fueled by some kind of unhappiness or trauma which, I thought, needed to be considered when evaluating it.

I recall former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani making a brilliant observation some time ago in a television interview. They were talking about the increasing problem of homeless people - many of whom are mentally ill - living on the streets in New York City. This is a problem Giuliani had nearly eradicated when he was mayor. He insisted that allowing people to live on the streets was inhumane. The problem, he explained was that those with liberal views (like current NYC Mayor DiBlasio) don’t treat the homeless as people. They treat them as ideas. I was blown away. He really nailed it.

Read more: Theory and Reality  [Theory and Reality]



Don't Delay in Saving Your Marriage
Written by Steve Augustus, MA, LCPC   


silhouette-couple-dispute pixabay 812125When we think of our spouse or see them and we feel good or have good thoughts, it’s called the Positive Perspective. This is the result of three functions of the relationship:
• How well we know and feel known by them.
• How well we express fondness and admiration to each other.
• How well we respond to each other when we reach out for connection.

In the beginning of a romantic relationship these three functions work well. Stressors are typically low and interactions are positive. If the relationship works well enough, we get married, get a home together and often begin having children. Being parents can be stressful, as much of our time and emotional focus is on the children, and we may sacrifice our marital relationship in the process. We may stop learning about our spouses’ inner world, stop practicing affection and not notice their attempts to connect. The fondness diminishes and the flaws become more apparent. The Positive Perspective then shifts.

Read more: Don't Delay in Saving Your Marriage  [Don't Delay in Saving Your Marriage]



A Fulfilling Long Distance Relationship is Possible
Written by Kimberly Lenggiere, MA, LMFT   


homecoming pixabay army-958204Dating is hard - there is no doubt about that. From the first broken heart until the moment “I do” is said, waiting to meet your future spouse can be a painful ordeal. It’s frustrating enough looking in your zip code, but dating can be infinitely more difficult when the person you love lives farther than a town or two away.

Every love story is different. Some people meet their intended over coffee and donuts after Sunday Mass or while browsing through albums at the record store. Others meet their mate when they join a running or book club. Whether it’s been scrolling through online profiles, waiting by the water cooler at work, or chatting up singles at the local bar, the majority of people would probably agree that building romantic relationships is much easier to do when your intended lives nearby, and not a few hundred miles.

Today, however, technology makes it possible for romance to endure the dreaded long distance relationship, or “LDR” as I will refer to it as from here on. What happens when your boyfriend must pursue an advanced degree across state, your girlfriend has to accept a job across the country, or your significant other is deployed overseas to serve our country? You may have even met someone on eHarmony who lives 1,000 miles away, and have concerns about pursuing the relationship.

While not for everyone, distance is not a death sentence to the single looking for love.

Read more: A Fulfilling Long Distance Relationship is Possible  [A Fulfilling Long Distance Relationship is Possible]

ct angel "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths."  Proverbs 3: 5-6